Confuse Them with Silence Shock Them with Results

The Power of Silence: How Silence Can Transform Your Life

What do you do when you are extremely annoyed by someone's behavior? You surely give them a piece of your mind. If someone is being extremely aggressive towards you and constantly venting their anger, you surely won't just sit there. You'll try to give a fitting response. And if someone insults your parents or your family identity, then there's nothing more to say. Today is their day, tomorrow is yours? It's natural. You have every right to protest against all the injustice and wrongdoing that happens to you. But the question is, for how long? If we spend our entire life giving and receiving blows, then when will we do our actual work? At this point, the wise find an ancient solution. And the name of that solution is silence or quietude.

The Great Power of Silence

This silence has a great power. If we can embrace this power in our lives, we can take a deep breath of peace. We can connect ourselves with the pulse of nature, its harmony, its melody. In today's episode, we have tried to learn about the wonderful aspects of this silence or quietude. We have tried to find answers to five questions in today's presentation. First, we have tried to understand what exactly happens inside and outside us when we remain silent. By watching this video, you may learn how you can solve even the complex problems of your life just by staying quiet. We have tried to understand why silence is the most important element in all religions and in any spiritual practice. We have searched for answers on how silence creates a connection between the mind and the soul. And when you are in noble silence or deep quietude, exactly what tasks are very necessary to perform in your mental world at that very moment. And finally, we will try to learn some techniques for using this silence in our daily lives. So let's begin.

What is True Silence?

Generally, silence or quietude refers to a soundless reality. When you are quiet for some reason, that is called silence. But the problem is, even when a person's mouth is closed, the inside doesn't stay quiet. They keep thinking about various things. A constant chatter goes on within themselves. So the correct definition is: silence is such a state within a person where thoughts stop but awareness awakens. It is a kind of power that science calls "stillness of brain waves." And philosophy says silence is the language of the soul. On the other hand, mystics say silence is the door to union.

What Happens When We Are Silent?

Anyway, we will now try to understand what exactly happens inside and outside us when we are silent. Actually, when we are silent, for the first few minutes, some scattered thoughts keep coming to our brain. Generally, these thoughts have no significant meaning, and this is a normal process. But if you can remain silent for five to ten minutes, you will see that the connection between your mind and brain has started to strengthen. In medical science, this state is called the activation of the brain's Default Mode Network.

And if you can stay silent for 30 minutes, you will see that your observation ability will increase. You may then remember what task you were supposed to do today that you had forgotten and hadn't done. Or perhaps you had promised someone something that you had forgotten, and it suddenly comes back to you. What most people do is break their silence after these 30 minutes. Because they remembered an important thing that they were supposed to do but couldn't. Within these 30 minutes of silence, they have realized it. So immediately they break their silence and pull out their smartphone from their pocket and turn on the screen.

Now, if we take the challenge and remain silent for roughly an hour, we will see that we no longer enjoy being in populated areas. Meaning, we can't quite handle noise. In most cases, during this time, a slight drowsiness or a sleepy feeling develops. Now, if you are in a place where there is no opportunity to sleep or doze off, such as your office, class, seminar, or an important event, then as an alternative, people pick a specific issue and deeply immerse themselves in that thought.

The Four Stages of Silence

The interesting thing is, if we ever sit at our home, or in a temple, mosque, church, cemetery, or any secluded place where we can sit for about an hour, and if we practice this one hour of silence for at least 40 days, then we will roughly move through four stages.

Stage One: Reminiscence

In this first stage of silence, you will generally find yourself getting lost in old memories from time to time. During this time, you will remember many people with whom you no longer have contact. You may recall a past accident that you had perhaps forgotten amidst the rush of various tasks. Or some glorious achievement of yours, no matter how small, may emerge during this silence, and you might smile absent-mindedly thinking about them. Or an old sad memory may come to mind, and a deep sigh may escape from within you.

Stage Two: Faults

In the second stage of silence, during the practice, you will inevitably see some people you dislike. You will remember them and, even if you don't want to, you will start thinking about them. Since you keep seeing the bitter experience that happened between you and that disliked person repeatedly, each time new realizations will appear before you. And gradually, you will begin to understand that it wasn't entirely the fault of the person you dislike. You also had some faults. If you had tried a little differently, the relationship would have been fine, and this person wouldn't have become someone you dislike. After spending some time this way, you may feel that the fault was more yours than the person you dislike.

Stage Three: Future Planning

Suppose, as a human being, you have certain desires. Now, to fulfill those desires, the first thing needed is planning. You need to make some plans. In this third stage of silence, you will understand which skill is necessary for you. Which task is very relevant for your career. You can get an idea of what your work should be like to create financial security for your family and an important position for yourself in society at this third stage of silence.

Stage Four: Wisdom

And the fourth stage of silence is called Wisdom. This is said to be a fundamental door to religion and spirituality. When you enter this stage, you will feel that most of what is happening in our real world regarding religion is simply madness. You will understand that religion does not encourage violence. Religion is a clean knowledge that fills a person's life with peace. At this fourth stage of silence, you will feel deep compassion for all creation and the Creator. You can call this time a grand moment.

At this time, your cool brain will tell you which task is very urgent for your life, for your good, and which task you should do. You can make many important life decisions from this stage. This is why ancient sages, saints, and even in the present time, those who are deeply conscious about self-control also try to reach this fourth stage of silence.

As you continuously practice silence, you will see that your level of creativity will increase. Your action plan for solving problems will be much sharper. When we practice silence this seriously, we may not even realize that in the outside world, we have somehow become a mysterious character. We will see that various people around us are following us, but we don't know it. When they see that we speak very little and prosperity is coming into our lives in various ways, those very people in the outside world will speak to us carefully, consciously, with compassion, and with respect. And if you practice silence, you will enjoy this entire experience wonderfully.

How Silence Solves Life's Complex Problems

Let's now try to understand how we can solve the complex problems of our lives just through silence. Look, most problems in our lives are born from negative emotions. After an event happens to you, if you feel that you are being harmed, you are falling behind, injustice has been done to you, then a resentment builds up inside you. A regret is created, and you start reacting. The moment you start reacting, that's when the problem begins. There is no fault of ours here, because from childhood, we have grown up this way. We have learned to believe that the solution to all our problems lies in words, in sentences, in speech. But the idea that you can turn the table and find an excellent solution to problems just by staying quiet doesn't occur to us.

Silence in the Workplace

Suppose your skills are not being valued at the office. A junior colleague keeps flattering your boss and rapidly climbs up. You see that salary, promotion, special recognition — everything is only happening for them. Not for you. What will you actually do then? I can tell you from my experience, if you start reacting then, it's only a matter of time before your career is ruined. Don't do this. It cannot be done. What you should do is choose the path of silence. Why? Because first, this silence will calm you down. It will bring your brain to a cool state. As a result, you can easily understand what your course of action should be at this very moment.

You can perhaps calmly improve your personal communication skills and search for another new job, and this is very possible because you already have years of experience. It might take a month or so, but you will probably land a new job. While you are looking for this new job, simultaneously increase your work efficiency at your current office. That is, increase the quality of your work. Try to work even better with deep focus, and do so while remaining silent.

When you are silently doing excellent work at the office, your boss will get a shock. Then, when you finalize the new job and meet your boss, express gratitude, and hand over the resignation letter with deep humility, your boss will get a second shock. In most cases, what happens is you will then be offered various things. Perhaps they will talk about increasing your salary. They may talk about giving you a promotion. They may even offer you some special incentive. And then you will make the decision about these offers — whether you will stay at this office or switch to the new job you have found. That means silence created two options for you here.

Silence in Relationships

Now suppose your relationship with a loved one is not going well. Arguments are happening over every little thing. You see that your wonderful, beautiful relationship is gradually being destroyed. Make the decision to become silent. Completely quiet. If you are innocent and yet your loved one keeps opening a basket of complaints against you, attacking in harsh language, getting angry, even then you will not react. If you react even then, the relationship will become even more bitter. Believe me, no relationship has ever been repaired by shouting.

It's better if you go quiet. Complete silence. The regret that they didn't understand you — let it stay in your heart. No need to tell anyone. Suppress it, stay quiet. You will see that when you stopped, your loved one will also stop shouting after a while. Because we know, one-sided arguments are very exhausting. A person cannot argue alone for long. The fact that you stopped and your loved one also stopped — both of you are quiet — this means that at that time, your relationship is breathing. Gradually, getting oxygen, your relationship will heal over time. And even if it doesn't heal, at least a peaceful resolution will come.

Actually, nature has a rule, you know? An innocent person is ultimately honored. So if you are honest and if you remain silent, nature will take your responsibility upon its own shoulders. This is how you can solve many complex problems of your life just by remaining silent.

Why Silence is Essential in All Religions and Spiritual Practices

Let's now try to understand why silence is indispensable in all religions and all spiritual practices. To understand this part, we need to know three true stories.

The Story of Gautama Buddha

The first one is about Gautama Buddha. Once, what happened? Gautama Buddha was sitting in a secluded place in a forest with some of his students and disciples. He was imparting wisdom about life, karma, philosophy, and various things. At that very moment, an angry man came and attacked Gautama Buddha in harsh language. He was using terrible language. He was saying, "You are a fraud. You are leading people down the wrong path. You don't know anything," and so on. Gautama Buddha was listening to it and looking at the ground, and his disciples were amazed. How astonishing — a man came from somewhere and is saying all sorts of things to Gautama Buddha. Gautama Buddha is saying nothing. He is quiet. Why?

That angry man didn't stop. He kept hurling insults. He kept saying extremely harsh words. Gautama Buddha remained quiet. At one point, the angry man became exhausted. Then he said to Gautama Buddha, "Hey, I'm hurling so many insults at you, scolding you so much, why are you staying quiet? Can't you speak?" Gautama Buddha looked at him and then said, "If you give someone something and they don't take it, who does that thing belong to?" The man got even angrier. "You are Gautama Buddha, and you don't know? If I give you my thing and you don't take it, it remains mine." Gautama Buddha said, "Yes. All the insults you hurled at me all this time — I didn't take any of them. So they remained yours." Instantly, the angry man, caught in the wordplay, went quiet and became a laughingstock to everyone.

The Story of Jesus

The second story is about Jesus. One day, Jesus was sitting with some of his companions, friends, and students. He was probably talking about very important matters. At that moment, some religious leaders called Pharisees dragged a woman and brought her before Jesus and said, "Jesus, this woman is an adulteress. According to our scripture, this woman should be stoned to death. If you give permission, we can start." Jesus said nothing. He was writing something on the ground.

The religious leaders shouted more. "Jesus, why are you silent? This woman is an adulteress. Can't you hear? If you say so, we can stone her to death. Give us permission." Jesus still said nothing. And Jesus's companions and students in front of him were watching the matter silently. What would Jesus answer? If Jesus says "Yes, stone her," then his sense of humanity is questioned. And if Jesus says "Let her go," then the law is broken. What would Jesus answer?

The religious leaders kept shouting. "Jesus, you are taking time. You are staying quiet. Speak. Tell us whether we can stone her to death or not. It is written in our religion." After a long time, Jesus answered, "Yes, you can stone her to death. But the condition is that the first stone shall be cast by the one who has never committed any sin in their life." Instantly, there was a commotion. Everyone started moving away from that woman. Because who would throw the stone? Everyone has committed at least one sin in their life. That means there was no one to throw the stone. No one remained.

Jesus saw that the people had moved away. The woman was standing alone. Jesus looked at the woman and said, "I do not condemn you. But sin no more. Go."

The Story of Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him)

The third story is about our Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him). Once, what happened? The Prophet was sitting in Masjid al-Nabawi with some of his companions, and inevitably, they were discussing very important matters. At that moment, a Bedouin — we know who Bedouins are, they are ordinary people living in the desert — one of them came and attacked the Prophet in very bad language. He used bad words, and the Prophet looked at him and then went quiet. He said nothing. And the companions were amazed — who is this Bedouin speaking to the Prophet in such terrible language?

The Bedouin was not one to stop. He kept using worse and worse language and even made the mosque dirty. At one point, the companions couldn't take it anymore and seized the man. They brought him before the Prophet. The Prophet had been quiet all this time, looking downward. Then he looked at this Bedouin who had been seized and looked at the companions. Then he said, "Untie his bonds. Let him go." And he told the Bedouin, "This is the house of Allah. The sanctity of this place should be maintained."

The Bedouin had been thinking that he would probably be killed right then. Because of the way he had been seized, and he had been trying to insult the Prophet keeping that in mind. But he could never have imagined that the Prophet would forgive him so calmly. Instantly, the man was ashamed and said, "By Allah, O Muhammad, I have never seen anyone as patient and great as you."

Lessons from These Stories

These three stories that we heard — what did we actually learn from them? We learned that silence is a powerful response for controlling anger and rage. We understood that where no solution comes from immediate reaction, silence creates a creative solution. And this is why silence is encouraged in all religions.

For example, in Islam, it is said that remaining silent is a part of prayer. Forty days of stillness is encouraged for sitting in devotion and solitude to remember the Creator. In Islamic mysticism, especially in Sufism, withdrawing from the noise of the world for some time and immersing oneself in the remembrance of Allah in solitude is greatly encouraged.

Vipassana: The Buddhist Meditation Technique

On the other hand, in Buddhism, a technique is applied called Vipassana. What is it? Vipassana is one of the most ancient and deepest meditation methods. In this method, the first thing to do is sit very comfortably in a secluded place. Then close your eyes and focus on your breathing. This is called Anapana. In Anapana, a person first closes their eyes and directs their full attention to breathing in and breathing out. During this time, a meditating person only observes their breath. They watch very attentively how the breath comes out through the nose and how the breath enters filling the chest. That is, they attentively observe the exchange of breathing. What does this do? It calms the mind and reduces the restlessness of the body.

Body Scanning

In the next step, the body is scanned. Meaning, with eyes closed, attention is given to each part of the body separately. With eyes closed, you check how your eyes are doing. With eyes closed, you check how the hair on your head is. With eyes closed, you check how your hand is. At this stage of meditation, gratitude is expressed toward the hand. Attention is given. Whether there is any pain anywhere, whether there is any cold sensation anywhere. That is, attention is given to each part of the body separately.

Realization of Impermanence

In the third step of this meditation, there is the realization of impermanence. At this time, you must realize that everything in the world is temporary. Nothing is permanent. Your happiness, sorrow, laughter, tears, love, affection, pain, joy — none of them are actually permanent. The moment you believe that nothing in the world is everlasting, your attachment will start to fade from within. You will believe that you yourself are not permanent either. You are alive today, gone tomorrow.

Noble Silence

After this, the final step of meditation is Noble Silence. During this time, speaking is completely forbidden. With eyes closed, you only pay attention to the sound within yourself. You observe the sound inside yourself. You focus on your own heartbeat. After doing these tasks for just 30 minutes, a refreshing feeling takes over.

Silent Vow in Sanatan Dharma

On the other hand, in Sanatan Dharma (Hinduism), silent meditation is believed in, which many call Mauna Vrata (vow of silence). There are also some techniques for observing this vow of silence. As usual, sitting in a secluded place with eyes closed, focusing on your breathing, slowly inhaling, and taking double the time to exhale that breath. The time between each inhalation and exhalation — in Sanatan Dharma, that is called silence or quietude.

What to Do During Silence: Inner Practices

Now let's try to understand what tasks we can do while immersed within ourselves during silence. In this regard, it's worth mentioning that silence or quietude is of two types. The first is Passive Silence and the other is Power Silence.

Passive Silence vs. Power Silence

What is Passive Silence actually? If you are ever extremely frightened by something, or receive a severe blow from someone — a mental blow — or if you become extremely weak about something, then a kind of silence comes from within. You don't feel like talking to anyone then. This situation that forces us to go quiet — this is called Passive Silence. And what is Power Silence? When we voluntarily want to apply silence as a technique for the sake of self-control, that is called Power Silence.

Breathing Practice

So whatever the reason for silence may be, the question is, what will we actually do when we are silent? In this regard, we can take some advice from ancient mysticism. Such as taking a deep breath and focusing on the breath. Observing each inhalation and exhalation. For example, suppose you are sitting somewhere. What can you do? You can take a deep breath and focus on the breath. You can give deep attention to both taking each breath and releasing it. It is said that between this inhaling and exhaling lies the door to the soul.

When you have followed your breathing in and out for a while, in the next step, you can start observing your thoughts. Not any specific thought — whatever thought is in your head at that moment, focus on that thought. The thought that is freely coming to your mind, the one you are not forcing — focus on that thought. You will enjoy it. You will see that just as clouds come and go in the sky, just as you breathe in and breathe out, similarly, various thoughts come to your mind and they go away.

Self-Reflection

After practicing breathing and observing thoughts for a while, we will see that we have roughly entered a deep stage of silence. Now we should do three more things. The first is self-reflection. What is this like? At this stage of silence, you will ask yourself: Who are you really? Why have you come to this world? Think about which tasks you enjoy doing immensely. From among those tasks you enjoy, which ones can you do the best? And from the tasks you can do the best, which ones can earn you money? And from the tasks that can earn you money, which ones can make you a legend — meaning even after death, people will continue to receive your service, your name will not be erased, but will endure century after century. When you are immersed in this self-reflection, you will find the purpose of life. You will understand that you didn't come to this world for nothing. You have a responsibility. It must be fulfilled. What is that responsibility? This self-reflection is for finding that out.

Gratitude Practice

In the second part, the task we can do is gratitude practice. That is, at this stage of silence, awaken the feeling of gratitude. At first glance, it may seem that there are many failures in our lives. Whom should we be grateful to? For what? But when you reach this stage of silence, you will see that you have so many things for which you should be grateful. If there is even the slightest achievement in your life, be grateful for it. If nothing else, the fact that you can breathe in and breathe out without hindrance, that you are healthy — you should be grateful for this. There are many people in much worse conditions than us. We are at least this much better than them. We can still take some pure air from this nature. We should be grateful for these things too. At this stage of silence, we will embrace that grateful heart. We will embrace a thanksgiving mentality. If you believe in the Creator, then wholeheartedly express gratitude to the Creator. Surrender yourself. And if you don't believe in the Creator, then at least be grateful to yourself. Thank yourself.

Meditation

Now the third task you need to do, which is the most important, is meditation. Many people think meditation is very complex. They think it's strictly a task for ascetics. That it requires many kinds of arrangements. It's not like that. Meditation is not a complex matter at all. You can meditate with your eyes closed or with your eyes open. A river, ocean, forest, or mountain — any beautiful, pure scene — or a candle flame — you can gaze at it and immerse yourself in meditation. This silence, this meditation, will create a deep connection between your mind and your soul.

Daily Techniques for Practicing Silence

Beyond this, there are some small practices that work like magic in life. For example, every morning after waking up, we will not go near our smartphone for at least 30 minutes. We might think that we've woken up and an important call might come, so let me just check the phone to see if anyone called. Think about it — you could have woken up 30 minutes later. Who would have checked the phone then? So whenever we wake up in the morning, we must stay away from our smartphone for at least 30 minutes. This keeping yourself away from a device will work as a digital detox.

Five-Minute Breathing Exercise

After that, we can practice breathing for five minutes at any time of the day, as many times as we want. The technique is absolutely simple. We will take a deep breath, and for double the time we take to inhale, we will exhale. And after each inhalation, we will hold that breath inside for at least three seconds. When we are inhaling, we will feel that we are drawing in the purest air in the world and a rush of peace. And when we are exhaling, we will feel that all the negative energy inside me is going out, all the chaos of my life, all the failures, all the inadequacies — everything is going out with my breath. If we can do this feeling for five minutes, it will be a wonderful breathing practice.

Silence: The Language of the Soul

Dear viewers, just as our mouth has a language, just as our words have a language, similarly, our soul also has a language. Its name is silence or quietude. Actually, our consciousness is a door. On one side is the mind, and on the other side is the soul. What silence does is open that door for you. As a result, the soul meets the mind in a wonderful connection.

After watching this video today, you can make a promise to yourself. For all the toxic people around us who have hurt us in various ways and want to hurt us, our only response is silence or quietude. This silence will enrich you and burn your adversary with remorse. And in this discussion, we believe one thing: where words stop, silence becomes the rebellion. That's all for today.